Myself, on fire. Bay Area, CA

(Source: trendgraphy, via memadesmaller)

// I’m calling for a inner-intervention//

This is real talk now. 

This has gone far enough. 

I have two goals for my life and myself: be a healthy person, and be a strong person. Everything else - friends, work, hobbies -  just sort of falls in and around those two goals. 

But lately I’ve ignored the healthy part. Because it requires sacrifice, and often times is inconvenient. And it shows. I can feel it, and I can see it. And that’s ridiculous. 

So today I am declaring a do-over. There’s a gym 50 feet from my office that is $10 more a month and I have decided that my health is worth at least that much. So today I will go sign up. Tonight I will eat things that are green and not covered in cheese, and I will do my laundry. 

And tomorrow I will wear the hell out of some gym clothes. 

The only thing that I see distinctly different about me is that I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, you might be sexier than me… but if we get on a treadmill together, there are two things: you’re getting off first, or I’m gonna DIE. It’s really that simple.
Will Smith (via memadesmaller)

// this week insofar://

This week has been difficult; still, I prevail. 

Work has been exceptionally stressful this week, and I was so exhausted from yesterday that I skipped the gym. I’m working late tonight, but I brought my bag in case of some miraculous second wind. There is a boy I need to have a chat with, but I might put body over mind today. Exercise the lungs, not the tear ducts. 

I have brought my lunch every day this week, and stuck pretty well to the gluten-free plan. I am currently on a sunny side up kick with eggs. I think I’ll give my breakfast pizza (corn tortilla, avocado and egg) a try this weekend. If I make it to the weekend. 

Correction: I WILL make it to the weekend. 

You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other, and God damn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how I’ve done it. There’s no other way.

// a return//

This week marks the first week of health insurance from my new job. I figured this was as symbolic a time as any to pick back up from where I fell off. Boy, did I fall. 

It’s all right though. After years of fighting myself on every calorie - I’ve finally learned one big lesson: guilt doesn’t work on me. I don’t want to feel bad every time I look at a dinner menu; I don’t want to feel bad any morning I choose to sleep in. I want to feel healthy and content. So I’m coming back to this blog, and this lifestyle, from a new place. A much less manic place. 

I’m excited to make the little, positive choices every day. Packing my own lunch means I don’t scramble to find *whatever* to eat, which will probably be carb-loaded and much to heavy for the middle of my day. My body needs fuel that it can burn - I know this because of how exhausted I get after a heavy lunch. Bringing my gym bag means I can hit the gym right across the street from work before I get on the road home. My motivation tends to drop from 10% to -35% as soon as I open the front door. 

I’m excited to take baby steps. Gym three days a week. Cardio, light weights lifting. On off days, I’ll cook a good dinner. On weekends, I’ll start with one hike. I’m excited to invest in hiking boots that I will use.

I have already made the adjustments in my sleep schedule and drinking habits. No alcohol during the work week. Reading before bed. Turning the television off. Simple, smart choices to better prepare myself for the stresses of every day life. With my gluten intolerance and anxiety disorder, I need to start making life easier on myself. Clean living = clean thinking. 

I’m ready to embrace my mistakes, and learn from them. Find healthy solutions for my unhealthy “weaknesses.” I’ll do my best to track my trials and tribulations here. Spring is about the right time to try something completely different. I’m excited. 

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
Winston Churchill
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(via thatkindofwoman)

My breakfast, one an a half weeks gluten free today!

My breakfast, one an a half weeks gluten free today!

// My new self-diagnosis//

"Eleanor, get off Web MD."

"Oh, it’s too late for that."

My whole life I’ve always been pretty sensitive to breads and pasta. Cutting them out of my diet has not only helped me lose weight, but feel so much lighter and healthier. Then a couple months ago, my dad got diagnosed with a gluten allergy. 

I take after my father’s side of the family a lot. 

Lately I’ve just been feeling so run down. I’ve been working 60-70 hours a week, and with little time or energy to cook or grocery shop, I’ve been eating pretty lazily. Skipping meals, and then binging on nutrient-less snack fests. So today I went to the grocery store, finally, and shopped all gluten-free. I’m really looking forward to feeling the results. 

Anyone else in the mid-twenties dealing with gluten allergies? Any recommendations for gluten-free meals? This will be an uphill battle, I’m sure.

It takes hard work and determination to become greater than what you are now.